Hello and welcome to Aspiebloggen podcast episode 5. I am your host Tommy Eriksson. In todays episode I finally talk about aspergers syndrome and autism.
This is the podcast where I bring you my views on things, in an attempt to let my voice be heard and to grow my confidence. For too long I have not voiced my opinions on the things that matter to me but will all change now.
Some of what I will bring up will be about asperger and autism related stuff since that is what my blog is about, but most will be my opinions on things and what is going on in my life. My website is at aspiebloggen.se. There you will find the shownotes for each episode as well my other blog posts. The blog itself is in swedish but this podcast and the corresponding shownotes will always be in english.
Now let’s get started.
Todays episode is brought to you by the letter Ö.
On my aspergers page I have a quote from me saying that aspergers is like a computer that someone has ripped out all the cables from and then put them back in, it works just not the same. That, well is not the best thing I have ever written, but at the moment I think I will leave it in there.
Unlike some people like Mike Cernowich I don’t believe in changing my previous blogposts to reflect new opinions unless I wrote something that was way out of line. No I would rather just make a new post or now adays a podcast about how my opinions have changed. That is why I don’t necessarily agree with everything on this site and some things like the page about love shyness makes me embarrassed, but I would like this blog to show how I have changed through the years and I can’t do that if I delete old content or change it to reflect my current views. I think I said in the very first episode that a part of this podcast will be about older blogposts and what I feel about them today. Maybe I really don’t like it anymore or more likely I still do. Still, the blog celebrated its 8th birthday this year so there is plenty of material.
Due to laziness I tend to write the script about an hour or so before recording, yet if I where to actually talk about what I have written before I will obviously have to read what I have written before and that would take a long time and remind me of a lot of things that I would rather forget so it might take awhile before I find the courage to do so.
So what is asperger. Some call it a disorder but I’m not so fond of that description. Others call it a disability or handicap but aspies like myself argue that from our perspective others are the handicapped ones. I mean sure our social interaction skills are different but can they truly be called a disability. That’s just a point of reference. Granted while how I chose to socialize or not fits better with the term introverted, something that not all aspies are. Yes unlike the pop-culture version you can have aspergers and still be extroverted.
Still, I do have some actual disabilities and they are all tied to my senses. All my senses are on high alert all the time. My vision is sensitive to light so while outdoors on sunny days I wear sunglasses. My nose is sensitive enough that I really don’t like being near smokers or people using lots of perfume. Interestingly those people tend to overlap. I remember back in school when the girls who smoked used to try to conceal the smell of smoke by using lots of perfume and deodorants. Everyone with a working sense of smell, IE non-smokers immediately recognized the futility of that endeavor. Oh well. And don’t even get me started on how public restrooms can smell.
My sense of touch is really sensitive as well. Slight pun intended. I hate having syringes stick a hole in me and are glad that it is a rare occurrence. One thing I haven’t talked about is that I have a swollen leg that has been bothering me for over a year now. I wear compression socks as a way to deal with it, not that they have helped. Well my point for bringing this up is that I was finally at a checkup by doctor that seemed to know what he was doing and while there will be another visit to another doctor for final diagnosis, he told me that one part of the examination will be about putting a blood pressure cuff over the leg. I just know how much tend to hurt my arm and my arms are nowhere near as sensitive as my leg. I hope that doesn’t actually happen.
And finally hearing. This is by far my biggest handicap. I can control how I see the sun, I can make sure to avoid public restrooms and not get injections, have my blood tested are check my blood pressure, but I’m always bothered by sounds I don’t want to hear. 2 things I really hate are dogs and kids. Dog are always barking as long as another one of their kind is within a kilometers range and happen to be barking for some reason and most kids just can’t shut-up but have to shout everything they say. As far as pets go I prefer cats, they are cute and unless they get into a fight also quiet, and did I mention cute. The cat owners in the world can relax though, I don’t have any plans to join you. Anyone who knows how I manage my flowers knows why. I’m content to just look at cats.
Back to noise. I really hate living in an apartment and would move if I could. Unfortunately that is not possible to here I am. I could settle for living in a rented apartment again and not a house as long as it is not next to something else, but I guess that still makes it a house. Either way my economy doesn’t allow moving so I’m stuck.
What troubles me is my inability to block sounds I don’t want to hear. From my previous description it might sound that I wear earplugs all day, this is only true on new year eve since I hate the sounds of fireworks. No I have real trouble with sudden unexpected sounds, so yeah for fireworks and scare cords in movies, but other than that I can’t block out sounds however faint that I don’t want to hear. If a dog barks near me it scares me, if it continues or if the dog is far away it annoys me. Same with kids. My ideal living would be somewhere far more remote than I live now or at least in a house so there are some distance to the neighbors. When I listen to music I do so loudly, if only to drown out other sounds so if i like a sound i don’t have a problem with its volume. Only the sounds i don’t like bother me.
And I think I will end there. I realize that I didn’t talk much about asperger but I really didn’t know what to bring up. I didn’t want to talk about the criteria since it has been awhile since I read them and I don’t know what more I could say about them. The shownotes for this episode can be found at aspiebloggen.se/5. So that will be all for now and until next week take care.